The only 3 things you need to build authentic confidence
This week was I had a huge gift handed to me by the universe - the realisation that my magic was NOT in the perfection but in the PERMISSION. That my superpower as a “Confidence Coach” isn’t having my shit together 24/7, or being bright & bold online. It’s allowing you in to the imperfect steps along the way in my own evolution. Because that’s where you build core, authentic confidence, the times where you second guess yourself & STILL lean in. It was a beautiful reminder also of what confidence means to ME - it's NOT always the people who are the loudest, or at the front. It's the small moments that nobody usually sees, of courage, self belief, self trust, self acceptance and self love. Confidence is the RESULT that people see of you doing that work. [You can read my post about it here (really sh*tty video that was never meant to see the light of day included lol), or watch the live I did on this here.]
The truth is, confidence isn't something you just have or you don't. Confidence is built over time, by taking continuous action in the face of your doubts. Jumping in to action quicker & quicker to leave less & less room for your fears. When in doubt, say yes, jump in & figure it out along the way). The speed it takes for that leap of faith? It really comes down to three things:
1. Your belief & trust in yourself. There are actually four domains of self trust - competency, reliability, sincerity & care. Usually the number one break in self trust I see comes down to competency. Whether you trust that you have the skills and knowledge to do it, and do it well. DO NOT let this be a deal breaker. Because there is an easy solution - fill the gap. AND...don't get sucked in to the knowledge consumption wheel of death. Become an ACTIONABLE learner. Knowledge isn't power, APPLIED knowledge is. Learn, then do.
2. Your belief in your ability to figure sh*t out. That gap? None existent when you believe you can figure it out. Think about it, when you were learning to walk as a baby, did you give up? Nah! You kept on walking & smashing in to coffee tables until you got it. Having confidence in your abilities is done by learning. Don’t know how? Not entirely sure? You CAN figure it out & fill that gap until you’re off & running. EVERYTHING is figureoutable. #justaskgoogle What is ONE step you can take this week that will bridge the gap?
3. Your belief in your value aka self worth. This one is the deepest, because no matter how much we figure out or do, if at our core we don’t believe in our value we will self sabotage our efforts every time to bring ourselves back to our comfort zone. There's a great book in this call The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks that talks to our 'upper limit'. This is how much we believe we are worthy of the good stuff in life, and when the results in our life exceed our perceived value - we cut ourselves down to size.
Breaking this pattern starts with being able to challenge (& release) our current narrative & reaffirm the beliefs we DO want that will serve us. It takes doing the inner work to unlearn everything we know to be "true", that isn't our ACTUAL truth.
✔️ Knowing our version of confidence, success, what we value & setting clear boundaries to make them a priority.
✔️ Trusting our intuition & saying YES to ourselves repeatedly. (Like Jamieson above!)
✔️ Finding & surrounding ourselves with people who will support us in blowing the glass ceiling we thought was there wide open.
As you probably know by now, supporting women to release the doubts holding them back so they can own their value is my magic & mission. Like I shared above, I’m about to open the doors to my Core Confidence program starting mid September. This will be an 8 week deep dive on everything above & more, limited to 10 amazing women (who will also become said cheer squad in blowing the ceiling off & stepping in to your truth & making sh*t happen). So if you’re ready to step in to 2020 in all your power with me with a group of amazing women, reply & we can chat to see if this will be a good fit to support you in your goals for the rest of 2019 and beyond.
Want to go deeper?
DO: My free four part training/roadmap to boost your self belief. This goes deeper in to gaining clarity around your definition of confidence, success + rebuilding self trust with a 30 day action plan.
READ: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
MEDITATE: Living Carefree with Deepak
WATCH: Your Value by Jeremy Anderson