ARE YOU IN THE COMPARISON TRAP? 6 WAYS TO SHIFT COMPARISON TO INSPIRATION.
Still buzzing from the Breakfast Club last weekend! The energy in the room was so incredible, so uplifting and so inspiring. I switched up the format this time - last time I had everyone do written worksheets which totally missed my intention of authentic connection. This time, we had 'talking points' instead - and it opened up some really deep, raw, authentic communication and heart felt connection. At one point, when everyone was acknowledging themselves and each other, I got super emotional and just wanted to hug everyone and join in on every single acknowledgment (so I did a big group celebration at the end in my wrap up speech and then nearly cried lol). But seriously, being in person is so bloody important and something I have been reminded of again and again in the past few weeks. They say your vibe attracts your tribe, and I couldn't be more happy with the little community we are forming here. So thank you for being a part of it!
Yesterday we dove in to the comparison trap, and it was such a perfect topic to inspire open connection. It's something we ALL do, and quite often we end up in unhealthy comparisons. Comparing others "best" (aka carefully curated highlight reel which often has very little to do with what's really going on in their life) to what we perceive as our "worst". Have you ever been following that picture perfect couple on IG, only to be SHOOK AF when they break up? Bottom line is, we all have our shit. Every single one of us - and no matter what their feed tells us, nobody's life is perfect.
YET - our brains can't really distinguish fact from fiction, and we end up thinking that somehow everyone else has the secret sauce to life and we just don't have the answers. That somehow there is something wrong with us, we aren't good enough. We second guess our decisions and use comparison as a roadblock, rather than an inspiration to guide us forward. We can actually choose for comparison to serve us, when we use it in a healthy way.
1. What are your comparison triggers? Can you minimise or eliminate them? Social media is a big one for most of us. Unfollow any accounts that you can that don't serve your wellbeing. Mute people perhaps you can't unfollow, but their content leaves you feeling drained, rather than inspired. I've just set myself a new timer for only 1 hour a day on social platforms, as well as no phone usage before 8am and after 8pm.
2. Who have you compared yourself to in the last 24 hours? What strengths or qualities did you admire about them? What we see in others, is actually just a reflection of something we either have already but haven't acknowledged or stepped in to for ourselves. Take a moment to celebrate how you are ALREADY displaying these qualities you admire.
3. What's a healthy goal you could set for yourself to step further in to these qualities for yourself? When we use comparison as inspiration and motivation, we can propel ourselves forward rather than hold ourselves back. EG, I often find myself comparing to a peer & good friend of mine for how she shares her truth in real time in a real and authentic way. In the past, I've let that stop me from sharing - but recently i've chosen to know that I have the ability to do that too, and have used it as inspiration to express myself more authentically.
4. Get grateful. Gratitude stops any comparison in it's tracks. When you catch yourself in comparison mode, have a little laugh and think "I'm getting better at this." (celebrate the awareness). Then - get grateful. What's working in your life now? What can you celebrate about where you are right now?
5. Celebrate yourself. If you have to compare, compare to yourself and how far you've come. Where were you a year ago? What has the growth been in that year? Often we are so focused on the future and where we aren't YET, we forget just how far we've come. What can you celebrate about yourself today?
6. Compliment, not compare. I heard this from Tony Robbins and loved it - "it's hard to be blessed if we don't want the same for others." Celebrate and revel in others success. Use it as evidence it's possible. Sometimes if I find myself comparing to someone, I will flip it in to a compliment for them and where possible, will actually tell them.
So there you have it. You are incredible, you are enough and you have the ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to!